Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Disappointments

I know that losing weight and getting healthy is never easy but I felt that I was really committed (this attempt) but today, after a day starting at 6:00 am (school, baby sitting, gym, work) and coming to a close with me sitting in my bedroom starring down a pile of homework wondering how many hour I'll be missing of sleep tonight, I cracked. I had just gotten in from work and was feeling the need to eat... I wasn't hungry and I should have realized this fact but I didn't. I went into the kitchen and found myself a slice of banana loaf, a bowl of cereal with yogurt, half a sugar cookie, an apple, and now I'm feeling even worse.

I need to remind myself that EATING does not complete anything other then make me grow bigger. It will not do my homework for me and it will not make me feel better, only worse.

On the upside of the entire situation the binge only brought me to 2000 calories (ish...) for total daily which doesn't make it the END of the world and I should be happy I stopped where I did, I could have EATEN the entire banana LOAF rather then a slice.... thinking of the upsides to downfalls.

Anyways, it's a "maintain" calorie level so nothing to cry about. But it's something the THINK about. I KNOW that it's a result, in part, of getting less then 4 hours of sleep due to homework overload and procrastination.

Tomorrow is a new day and I managed to journal everything I ate so at least I'm aware of the problems.

Now I'm going to go to sleep, I don't care about the homework.... I'll do it another time.

Nighty-Nite,

Rilo-Alexie

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